Sometimes I’m still amazed at this new job title I have – Mommy. I was filing out an application recently and it made think about the questions I asked myself when I was thinking about becoming a mother. I have so many girlfriends that have become moms in the last year, but I also have so many girlfriends who don’t have kids yet that ask me about when I knew I was ready. So here’s my application for motherhood for all those curious women out there –
|Current Mental State||Crazy, but Stable.|
During which hours are you available to dedicate your time to your child? (Please select all)
|Weekday mornings||Weekend mornings|
|Weekday afternoons||Weekend afternoons|
|Weekday evenings||Weekend evenings|
Please answer the following –
- Are you prepared to lose sleep?
- Are you ready to talk about the importance of baby poop?
- Can you do multiple things at a time while also trying to tend to your crying baby?
- Are you flexible in bed? And by that I mean, are you able to maneuver around your bed in the middle of the night while your baby tosses and turns in all directions?
- Are you ready to sing the ABC’s, Patty Cake, and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star daily?
- Are you able to watch Disney movies on repeat?
- Do you have experience changing diapers?
- Do you have a good support system?
- Are you ready to have your relationship tested?
- Are you ready to get your world turned around?
Agreement and Signature
By submitting this application, I affirm that the facts set forth in it are true and complete. I understand that if I am accepted as a mother, any false statements, omissions, or other misrepresentations made by me on this application may result in my immediate dismissal.
It is the policy of this organization (motherhood) to provide support to the curious women and our fellow mamas and build our tribe. Motherhood is such a beautiful experience and should be taken seriously.
All joking aside, I love being a mom and if that means my new boss is my daughter, then so be it. It’s the best and most rewarding job!